I just realized after looking at Jen's blog that it has been a month since I posted! I've been writing them in my head, they just aren't making it to the computer. And we have been quite busy. I'll fill you in on some of that next time (mostly because I know it might be a while before I post again and I'd rather that stay up than this). For this one I have to share some sadness. I realize this is probably more for me than anyone, but this is where I am right now.
Last week we had to put our Sweet Sadie to sleep. She had been our dog for almost 12 years. SweetHeart said, "You knew this day would come." To which I replied, "Yes, but I had not planned on her being my dog!" When we got her in January 1997, we knew that SweetHeart would be gone a month in the summer for school and I had to stay home for school, Sadie was going to be my guard dog and companion. And she always was. Nobody came near the house that we didn't know about it! Or her arch enemy...the vacuum cleaner! She always wanted to be where I was. Unless she decided I was moving around too much, then she got in her favorite spot, which much to my dismay was my bed--usually under the covers! But when I did land somewhere, she was always there beside me. When the kids came along, if there wasn't room beside me, she patiently waited until they were asleep and then it was her turn! I have teased that I can handle three kids. It's the dog that pushes me over the edge! Because inevitably I would get everyone settled, and Sadie would need to go out or need food or need in. I am realizing now how much she helped. I never had to sweep under the table because she picked up all the crumbs. This week I have seen how messy we really are! One of our favorite stories is when Sweet Boy was about 2, he was eating a snack in the living room and I was in the other room. He called for Sadie two or three times, and I said, "Honey, Sadie is outside." And he said, "Oh. I'm going to need a napkin then, Mom."
So this week has been sad. I vacuumed for the first time in 12 years without attack dog charging in to save us. The garbage truck came without her watchful eye. I haven't opened the gate to her room or the back door to let her out. She isn't there to say bye to as I walk out the door, or greet us when we get home. I dropped food when I was cooking and didn't hear her scamper into the kitchen when I said "Oops." (She was so well trained!) She is not at my feet as I type this, and tears roll down my cheeks. It has been very wierd because I don't know how to feel or react or how others might react. I know it is not like loosing a child and I would never compare it to that. I've been in a family with that happening, so I want to be so careful what I say. But there is a hole in our family. A being I'm not caring for anymore. A level of protection gone. A missing companion. And I didn't expect to be so heartbroken.
So here is the God-thing of it all. Friday morning before the decision that it would happen that day was made--before I even knew I needed it, a friend called and asked my two little ones to come and play. So they were gone and taken care of. That was such a blessing of friendship and provision that God took care of so I could be there and so I could loose it. You know you just can't cry and loose it with little ones around. It's a God-thing that I know He cares about me and understands my heartache more than anyone and I am safe with Him. And this may be a little bit of a stretch, spiritually speaking, because I know dogs don't really have a will. They don't have a choice to do God's plan for them or not. They are just dogs. But Sadie glorified God because she did what she was made to do. I want to bring glory to my Heavenly Father because I did what He made me to do.
Here are some pictures (big surprise!). Last year on Mother's Day the kids and I posed for a picture and Sadie came a posed too! It was so funny! We teased that she was the fur-child. And we have teasingly said that we made all our parenting mistakes on her! Ha! I wish that were true!
Did I mention she liked to nap with anyone anywhere? Here she and the kids are cuddled up in the tent--all asleep!
This is the last picture I took with her in it. She was just always in the background...and we miss her. Sweet Doll said, "Sadie was such a good dog." And she was. Thank You, God, for blessing us through Sweet Sadie.
Here is a story for those of you not playing the bloggy game...When SweetDoll was born, Granny was here helping. She and SweetBoy went to storytime at the library and they talked about pumpkins. Then when they went to Wal-Mart...wouldn't you know! They had pumpkins for sale and Granny never says no! ;) So we tried our hand at carving a pumpkin. He affectionately became known as "Barney the smooky jack-o-lantern." (SweetBoy didn't quite get the spooky part!) So, 5 years later, here is "Barney the smooky jack-o-lantern 2!" We have some cousins who are pros at carving! Seriously! But this little guy will have to pose as our masterpiece this year! Happy Fall!
